MelodyFreebird

This Time Last Year.....

Where were you?
What were you doing?
How has life changed?
How have YOU changed?

Sometimes I forget, well, I forget a lot....all of the things that life drags or floats or rides you through.....I was reading this morning from my journal, things from a year ago, and can not believe how interesting and crazy and unexpected and BEAUTIFUL life is....even when it's a beautiful disaster....true stuff!

First, I am going to show you THIS picture from a recent family reunion....THIS is my husband....this is how he is NOW. I don't want to put a photo up of him from last year because I still can hardly look at photos from that time....so, I don't even want to go look for one.
I had a big massive shift in perception this morning. After reading from my journal, then looking through recent photos for a project I am doing for work, I saw this photo and loaded it on my computer.

I can hardly believe how far we have come in 1 year.
One year ago we were making arrangements to have Marq put into a hospital in California because he was doing so badly that no one here could help. It was horrible. He was supposed to stay for a minimum of 60 days, and to go as soon as I got back from my business trip to Africa. I was reading through those journal entries and I just wanted to jump into those pages and grab that scared and sad and confused girl that was writing that stuff and swaddle her in a blanket and hold her by the fire.

and I read in my prayer journal....the prayers.
...and how they just weren't being answered.
....and how I just couldn't understand how God could forsake our family like that.
...but that I was just going to keep on praying.

It has been almost exactly 3 years since our life got turned upside down with my husband's brain injury.....and then it got put into a blender and then thrown out of an airplane with no parachute....

.....but, sheesh...the things I was praying for, and how little by little, every single prayer has been answered in strange and big and peculiar ways that still blow my mind.

..............and we are still a family. We are more a family than EVER.
...it's cool. So cool.
and I am madly in love with my husband and nobody can ever take away the fact that we have been to hell and back together.

Things always turn around. It might take WAAAAY longer than you ever thought it could, but I wish you knew how bad things were, and what the doctors were saying and the fear I was giving-in to.

So few things in life really matter....and the ones that do are SO important.

Please look back at things and see what you've been brought through, delivered from.....and keep asking....it will happen.
Gratitude can change your life.
God is so so so good.

Hope you are having an awesome day.
melody

Ride it Out, Girls.......

I want to tell you something funny that I just thought of as I was preparing this little (ok, big) post.......when my 11 year old daughter, earlier this year, came and sat next to me on the couch before school and said
"Mom, do you have any issues?"
and I said
"Well, what do you mean?"
and she said...
"I really think you have issues....and I really think that Oprah could help you with your issues...."
and I said
"well, you are probably right....but...."
she then went on to ask...
"how much money do you have?"
me...
"well, I don't know.....why..what?"
she....
"It's really a good deal, only $1.25 per issue....."

....and she pulls out a subscription card to "O" magazine.....and tells me that I can probably get all of my issues dealt with for under $20....looked a little something like this

TOO FUNNY....

but....I really wish it was that easy....don't you?

I have gotten a whole bunch of emails lately asking how to get through difficult things (which I am getting to as quickly as I can, and I love them and cherish them...love ALL of your emails...)....and I have written some asking the same question.....and over the years that question has passed my lips countless times, for sure...in conversations, in prayers, in rants and raves in my car.........

The best advice I have ever gotten or could ever give....or some of the best, I should say....is....RIDE IT OUT.....

At the end of this post, I am going to ask you a question....so....I hope you'll start thinking about the answer now...."Tell me about a time that you STAYED...and you were glad that you did...." or "What was it that made you stay?" or, both.........

Stay with what?
Stay with whatever....whatever you knew you needed to ride out....whatever was HARD....whatever tore at every bit of strength, at every heartstring........or, maybe it was easy to stay but no one understood why you did.....that's it's own kind of difficulty......

So....here's one of the kajillion things that was reinforced to me over the last few days as I went to the mountains to write and to think and to absorb this new place that I am in in my life....to attempt to navigate the next step, to find my north star.....

JUST RIDE IT OUT....STAY WITH IT....

I am not talking about ANY thing in particular, because YOU know what it is....and it's totally different for everyone....totally......because that's just how life is....we all have these custom-made lessons that teach us what we need to know to get to the next place.....to help others to the next place....and we just sort of have to ride it out while it's happening.... Endure it well.....find the joy in it, too...if you can....and let's be honest, it's really hard to some days....but you'll always be able to find something to be thankful for at the end of every day if you are continually staying the course....because you'll always be able to look yourself in the eye at the end of the day and say "I rode it out today and I made it...."

......

I wish it were easy....OHHHHHH how I wish it were easy. I wish that I was ALWAYS FEELING absolutely sure that things would always work out.....100% of the time....instead of wavering between scared and confident, terrified and brave.....blue and euphoric.....down and energized......

....but OHHHHHHHH how we learn patience....patience patience patience....and most importantly we learn to lean on our maker....the ONE who knows us best, who knows EXACTLY where this storm is headed, where this ride is taking us, when this wave will reach the shore.....the ONLY ONE who knows....

I am in a really good place right now....but I know that life is going to have turbulance again someday....that's ONE thing I know for sure....that there's just a whole bunch of stuff that happens in the circle of living and of a lifetime and of a person and especially of a girl...and very especially of an artsy, sensitive, question-everything girl......

.........and for sure.....at some time in your life.....just when you were sure that things were going to work out exactly as you had planned them, or prayed for them to be........you will have to make a HUUUUUGE and important decision about HOW you will react when they don't.....sometimes you think your number is up....and it's JUST NOT TIME YET....there's still more to be learned.......and someday, for sure, you will look back and agree that it wasn't quite the right time yet....GOD IS NEVER EARLY AND NEVER LATE......reminds me of the lines at Disneyland....how they look like they are ALMOST THERE, then you turn the corner and a whole new area of lined-up madness awaits......and heads into a tunnel that MIGHT be the beginning of the ride or might be more of the line....SO...while you are waiting....meet some new people, learn some stuff....laugh with the people you are with.....make a phonecall that's important....help the other people in line to have a good time....think about something happy........

......but ride it out.....don't quit.....stay the course......

NOW....for the question....
"was there a time in your life that you STAYED and you were glad you did....even though it was hard?"

I felt very compelled to write about this today....so, be sure to share.....I know for sure that there's someone out there who needs to hear that LOTS and LOTS of people have had this to deal with....well, probably pretty much everyone.....

Have a terrific week....I will be back lots this week....and with a new podcast, too.
Lots of Love to everyone,
Melody

I am home!

Got home a bit ago from my yearly writing sabbatical to the mountains.....can't wait to share all that I learned....and find out what's on your mind, too......is it super hot where you are? holy moley, came home to over 100 degree temperatures!

......after I unpack and get settled tomorrow I'll post and I hope you all will share your thoughts....this week's discussion will be lively and what I learned just blew my mind.....

lots of love to everyone!
....there's no place like home!
melody

Hello...

I'm away from my blog this week but I'll be back soon. . .
lots of love
Melody

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New Podcast is Up!

If you've subscribed through iTunes or any other feed....you'll be getting Episode 2 shortly...if not, you can click the player below (just click the PLAY triangle button) and enjoy! Thanks Casey for getting this done so fast! YOU ROCK!

thanks everyone!
melody

Hear All Good - Episode 2

In this second episode, Melody introduces, interviews and leads an insightful conversation with the staff of Four Wings Media and talks about her two tips for leading a happy life...

My podcast is on iTunes!!

YEH!!!
and the new one will be up this evening...editing just got finished...yeh!
here's the link to it on iTunes

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=259637850

NEW PAPERS!!!!!!!!

HOORAY FOR JANET!!!

YIPPEE!!!! You guessed it!!!
Janet, email me! I will get with you to send you a box of treasures!!
Now, I will post the new papers!
THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR AWESOME GUESSES!!! You gave me lots and lots of ideas for future projects!
lots of love
Melody