Melody's Sofa

It's a Lot Like Dandelion Greens and Creme Brulee.....

July 19, 2006
Expect Difficulty

It’s a Lot Like Dandelion Greens & Crème Brulee

Isn’t life funny?

I love crème brulee…I think it’s the yummiest thing I have ever put into my mouth and the happiness of it lingers for days and days…then I dream about it from time to time. I probably only have Crème Brulee 2 or 3 times a year, but it is the sweetest experience every single time.

But, how do I even know it is sweet? How do I know that it tastes better than just about anything?

Because, I’ve had other things too. Dandelion greens? Ok, I have a confession…once when I was a kid, I heard that people actually EAT dandelion greens…so I went through the back door, down the patio stairs, through the lawn, and over to the spot by the fence where the lawnmower couldn’t reach…and found a little dandelion plant. And I plucked one of the leaves from the plant. White stuff that looked like Elmer’s glue came from the stem, and I put it in my mouth. YUUUUUUCK!!!!!

Can I say that again? YUCK!!!!
And…that taste lingered in my mouth and my memory for a very long time too, it still does…enough that I never want to have that experience again.

If I had a great piece of salmon with a delicious side of sautéed mushrooms and skinny, tender asparagus…with a little dish of yummy crème brulee to top it off, that crème brulee would still taste really really good…..

But, what if I’d been fed a diet of dandelion greens, raw and cooked and maybe even fried…day after day…maybe with some cream of wheat once in a a while, no sugar…perhaps a slice of bologna on occasion…but, mostly dandelion greens…

….and then, after months and months of that…I get to have crème brulee…..

Let me tell you…it always tastes really good…but it would taste a thousand times better after eating the bitterness of dandelion greens for a while….

Aren’t you thankful for a nice cool breeze, and a spot of shade on a miserably hot day? The spot of shade would just be a spot of shade if it wasn’t for the unbearable heat. How about the way it feels to walk into a warm coffee shop when you’re Christmas shopping during a blizzard? The coffee shop would just be a coffee shop without the blizzard to make you appreciate all that is great about it.

…and that’s how life is…it helps to make sense of things that aren’t so pleasant. Without the bitterness, we would never, ever, know the sweet…we wouldn’t even know that there was such a thing…unless there was a hard day, a hug would just be a hug…a smile would just be a smile…unless there was difficulty, a finish line would just be a ribbon across the road.

I am thankful for dandelion greens to make the crème brulee so much sweeter.

Have a great day,
Melody

Yesterday's Post..."Leaving Out the BAD, SAD, MAD..."Is it Lost?

I got a TON of emails yesterday about yesterday's post and typepad's problems....the post is not showing up, but it is still available...however, I don't know if you can post comments still....they said I should republish it....and maybe I'll do that later tonight. I really want you to post comments if you have them....maybe you can do that on this post after you read it. Here's the link if you can't find it....

http://melodyross.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/07/leaving_out_the.html

The Courage of a Little Blackberry Bush

Expect Difficulty
July 5, 2006

When I was in the woods last week, I woke up early one morning and decided to go for a walk while the sun was rising. I have learned so many wonderful things when I have walked alone in nature…almost like there’s angels whispering in my ear.

I started on my walk and said “God, please teach me something right now that I need to learn…”

Within seconds, my eyes darted to a spot in the asphalt. It was already a very hot day, and the heat was rising in waves off of the road. I had walked that same road every morning for days, and never noticed what my eyes were seeing at that moment.

Through a crack in the thick, hard asphalt, a perfect little blackberry plant was growing…with 3 perfect little berries on it.

You have to understand that this particular spot in the road is traveled by cars and trucks and motor homes all day and all night. This is a dangerous spot for anything to grow and thrive.

Yet, somehow, this little blackberry sprig managed to find a bit of air and sunshine to peek it’s head up into…even if it was through inches of tar and rocks.

Amazing, what we can overcome. Amazing, what we can do when we just look for the sunlight…even if it comes in little slivers, through cracks, where sunlight may have seemed impossible.

I hope you can have the courage of a blackberry.

I am going to frame this photo to remind me that we can survive through just about anything, just about anywhere, when we bloom where we’re planted.

Lots of Love,
melody

Sometimes You Have to Grieve the Good to Embrace the Best.....

Wednesday - Expect Difficulty Issue 2

This week has been so interesting...seems like every day I get a phonecall or revisit one of my old issues that teaches me about how life changes work. They are painful simply because it is very difficult to give up how things are now....or what we have now....even if what we are moving toward is profoundly better for us.

My life is in more of a transition right now than it has ever been....my life is changing in good and necessary ways, but many of them are tremendously painful. I hate that we have to give things up in order to have other things...even if the other things are better. I guess this is truly the definition of sacrifice....to give up something good for something even better....and, any progression in life requires sacrifice....

Someone very special to me, who I love very very much, just broke up her engagement. I listened to her and supported her over the weeks of making the decision, and both of us knew it was the right thing...so, you would think that if it's the right thing, it would feel good.....but, there's so many times when we have to grieve those good things....because, even if they're not the best things in our life anymore....we still love them and care about them....even if they are not even good for us at all, we have still learned to be comfortable with them and moving away is scary and lonely and unknown and sad and devastating....even if it's the right thing. So many things in life are this way. That someone in my life is grieving right now...sorrowfully grieving that good thing in her life that was not the best thing.....

Another very special friend has just made the decision to give up her beloved career to be at home with her family....she was left at a crossroads in her life...things changed...when before, she could not have given up her career for financial reasons.....she was given the opportunity....and, although she knew for sure that it was the best thing for herself and her family...it was a difficult and painful decision....the thought of it has left her feeling sad, grieving......she is moving toward such a wonderful time in her life, what she has really dreamed of, yet she has to take the time to do the necessary grieving that is so much a part of giving things up that mean so much to us.

And....grieving must happen, it is necessary....and it is ok. It is ok to feel sad and bad as we say goodbye to parts of our life that have been as much a part of us as our own skin....it is necessary and it is honorable....even if the things that are before us are beautiful and worthy of a celebration.....life just seems to be so much about saying goodbye and saying hello, closing doors and opening other ones, grieving and celebrating....

....and we need to give ourselves permission to do it....we need to expect it and embrace it and sit with the feelings we have and let them have their time to work themselves out.

I needed this today.......hope someone else out there does, too. I wish for all of you things to celebrate and time to say goodbye to the things you have to put aside....even if it's just for a little while.

Make it a Meaningful Wednesday!
Melody

Expect Difficulty...get up, brush off those knees...and get going!

I just arrrived in my hotel room and it is nearly 2am......here's a little thing I wrote for my kids and employees earlier this year....I hope it helps someone, somewhere! Happy Wednesday!

I have to admit that there are parts of me that wish I could wipe the years of 2004 and 2005 out of my memory. I am profoundly thankful that I had no idea what was coming. Given the chance, I probably would have traded my prized collection of fashion boots, or a parcel of my land, or one of my fingers, just to be able to just sleep away those 24 months. I would have simply proclaimed to everyone around me, while frantically swallowing the biggest sleeping pill I could find, “you can wake me when it’s over!”

But, good old Life doesn’t happen that way. And when I really think about it with every functioning cell in my brain…I wouldn’t trade those few years for anything. That particular trip to hell made me into the person that I am today and permanently engraved lessons into my heart (next to my past intricate engravings, of course.) Did I mention that much of the heart-carving of my life's lessons has been done with a very big knife and no anesthesiologist? Painful. I’m pretty sure that you know, from experience, exactly what I’m talking about.

I honestly used to think that if things were hard, it was because I was doing things wrong. I used to think that if I had ‘failures’, it was because I was a failure. I have found that my feelings are not unique. The more people I talk to, the more I realize that somewhere along the way, many of us were not taught to expect difficulty in life. When difficulty came along, it stopped us in our tracks, knocked the wind out of us and sent us spinning in a dizzy swirl of self-doubt and confusion. There are people all around us, and you know who I’m talking about, who couldn’t or wouldn’t get back up when difficulty knocked them down and bloodied up their knees. Those poor souls literally stopped their life’s progress right where they were knocked down, you can still see them right there…they haven’t moved an inch.

If you are on a road of progress, you have bumps in that road, period. I have yet to meet a human being, especially a ‘lucky’ or ‘successful’ or ‘wonderful’ human being, who has not been through a pretty colossal amount of difficulty to get where they are. Something really hard and painful happened, and they got back up and started again…sometimes started completely over. And, then…things were going along pretty smoothly and they got knocked down again…and guess what? They got back up again! And, you know what sets apart those people from the people who never seem to get where they really want to go? It’s that they plan for difficulty, they expect it or at least, when it comes unexpectedly, they roll through it like it’s just another day. It really is…it’s just another day. Getting up is rarely easy…getting through difficulty is never easy, but to get to the next place on your path, it’s highly likely that you’re going to have to DO THE HARD THINGS. Don’t worry, though! Look around you right now… you wouldn’t be holding the book you have in your hand, you wouldn’t be sitting in the room you’re enjoying now, you wouldn’t have the lightbulb that you just switched on if human beings didn’t continue to struggle through difficulty. Buck up, partner, you’ll get through it.

One more time…why expect difficulty?
You can’t get anywhere of significance without passing through some trials. Difficulty is not negotiable, it simply happens when you are progressing. Got it? Struggle is not just for you, it’s for everyone…

Why is this good news?
You can plan for it, I can plan for it, we can all plan for it. Heck, we can have a little get-together difficulty pot-luck, let’s plan it right now! Yipee! If we plan for it now, we can make it so much fun! I’ll bring the IRS problem casserole! How about you, want to bring your newly diagnosed syndrome with a little depression on the side? I brought that last time…

Make it a Meaningful Day...even if it's a tough one...roll through it and find the gifts in the difficulty...they are there, I promise!

Mel