Melody's Sofa

How'd You Get Those Fish???

October 31, 2006
Overcoming....

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The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. ~Benjamin Disraeli

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.....remember me???......

I am almost there....almost to the place where I can blog again....almost done with my big project, and also ready to move on to the next one...I hope you'll hang with me while I'm getting there! I am excited to write every day again, and it will be so soon! Thanks for your messages and emails...I have missed you all too!

I am overwhelmed today with gratitude....I am overcome with the blessing of overcoming.....and....the most incredible people have dropped into my life. You know....you pray for things, and I dream things up BIG...so, you pray for things.....and....then, they happen....just like you prayed that they would...but so much bigger than what you ever could have dreamed.......usually for me, my blessings come in the form of other people....almost always....there are the most incredibly wonderful people on this earth....there really are (don't worry, I've had days too where I didn't believe that.....)

But over the last few months the most phenomenal mentors have just sort of shown up in my life.....just in time....and, isn't it funny how things show up JUST IN TIME.....always.....just in time....not a moment early, but not a moment late either....we may have thought it was late....but when we look, it was JUST IN TIME.....

Anyway....about these mentors........what I've learned from a couple of WISE, KIND, EXPERIENCED and from-out-of-nowhere people is that old fishing parable....that you can 'give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or you can teach him how to fish and feed him for a lifetime.....'

I know this basket of fish is gross...totally....but.....it just reminds me of what happens so often in life....
that you want to be handed a basket of fish....but, you are handed a fishing pole instead........and you never, hardly ever, have to ask for another fish again.....because you know how to go out and get it for yourself....

I really think that the most loving thing you can do....most of the time....is to show another person what their potential is...instead of rescuing them, show them how to rescue themselves....instead of holding them up with your strength...remind them of their own.....instead of doing things for them, teaching them how to do things themselves......teach them how to fish instead of handing over a basket that's already full and it's gone when it's gone.....

I got an incredible lesson from an amazing fisherman this week.

I hope you'll let yourself get your fish the right way....it hurts sometimes and it seems like it would sure be easier to be handed a basket full instead of catching the fish ourselves....but, like it says....learn to do it yourself and you'll be fed for a lifetime.

Thank Heavens for Lessons...right?

Talk to you all soon.....
Lots of Love
Melody

DO THE HARD THINGS....

September 26, 2006
Overcoming Fears

DO THE HARD THINGS....
DO THE HARD THINGS…..

You know what I have learned about life after a whole lot of doing things wrong? I have learned that if you’ve got something difficult staring you in the face…just get it done…and get it done first…get it done before you chicken-out or change your mind or get scared out of it…if you know it’s right, if you know it’s necessary to get you where you want to go, or where you know you are supposed to go…do the hard things.

I think one of the hardest things in the whole wide world is accepting and embracing change…especially a change that will shake things up…a change that’s a little scary and uncertain….a change that is inevitable.

Another really hard thing is having conversations that need to happen…that are scary and uncomfortable….

Today I had to do some things that I have been trying to fight for a long time…I had to accept some big changes and even take it into my hands to accelerate them. I had to have some conversations that I knew were crucial, but that I tried to fool myself into thinking weren’t really so necessary….because I knew that what I had to do today would make it one of the most difficult but character building days that I would ever have…

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” –Alan Cohen

But, I did it. I just did it. I did it first thing and I kept it together and I remained honest and loving the way I wanted to…I wanted to show my love and respect by being completely honest, with myself and with the changes that needed to happen….and I didn’t waver from what I knew needed to happen. I sacrificed my own comfort and fears for the greater good…..and, it was very very difficult…and painful….but, I have known that it needed to be done for so many reasons….not just for me, but for others that I care about so deeply……

I have to be honest and say that I used to have my husband do so much of this for me…take care of things that made me uncomfortable or scared….and today, he said he would help me….but….I told him that I needed to do this myself, because it was the right thing to do and because I cared about it enough to do it the right way…to show my respect and care, straight from me. In the past I have had teammates do hard things for me, I’ve even had my children do hard things for me…..you know….tenderhearted and non-confrontational, etc……and, over the years, I have conquered one hard thing after another…..and realized…that the more you do hard things that need to be done, in a completely full-hearted and honest way….the more you realize that just doing it has immense rewards, mostly internal, but external, too. I came home tonight feeling at-peace….feeling like I handled things with grace and dignity and respect and love….and the only way that it could have happened is by doing it the hard way….and I did.

And even though it was a difficult day….and I am exhausted….I feel a great sense of peace and self-respect…..that I am starting to be a grown-up…..and it’s about time.

Do the hard things. You know what they are…..just go do it….you will feel ten thousand times better and so will everyone around you who knows it needs to be done…..just do it, do the hard things……

Hope you’re having a great week!
lots of love
melody

What are YOU Afraid Of?

August 22, 2006
What Are YOU Afraid Of?

In spite of doing it lots and lots of times, and really enjoying it once I get rolling…I am really quite terrified of public speaking. But, it’s just one of those things that I feel more and more a sort of a ‘calling’ to do…because whenever I bite-the-bullet and just do it…there’s always one or two people in the audience who end up being a part of my life in such an enormous and compelling way that it couldn’t have been just a coincidence….and so….I continue to walk on to the stage….terrified….and I do what I preach others to do…I tell my stories…and hope that there’s someone out there who connects with them in the way that was intended…

So now, I am getting public-speaking coaching….because I have nervous habits on stage…I grind my toe into the floor and I rub the tips of my fingers into my palms…and I say “uh” and “um” way too much….and I don’t know quite how to begin or end my speeches so that it’s not awkward for me or for my audience….and I absolutely don’t know yet how to talk without a podium…..

But, every time I speak I get more invitations to speak in other places, and I gulp and accept them….because I really do want to get good at this…and I get emails and notes and letters and phonecalls from people who say that my ordinary old stories about my ordinary old life made up of extraordinary moments, made them feel like their ordinary old life might just be full of extraordinary moments that help them to put the pieces of their life’s puzzle together….and THAT is totally worth the pounding heart nervousness and fear….because THAT is what I really want….for people to tell their stories and ask others to tell theirs.

And….gulp….I just found out that one of my very first speeches is video streamed onto one of my associate’s websites! I have never seen myself speak before…so watching this video was almost as terrifying as walking up those stairs and over to the podium…..but, here it is….

What are you afraid of??? If I can do this…so can you…..overcome your fears!!!

www.business.indiplex.com

Afraid of Being the Adult....

August 8, 2006
What Are You Afraid Of?

Afraid of Being the Adult.....This is a beautiful photo of a fork in the road...in case you can't tell......when you are the adult...you have to be the one to decide which road is to be taken........ugh. Remember when the biggest choice you had to make every day was whether you would wear your hair in a half-ponytail or in pigtails? Remember when you'd contemplate for HOURS, every day in November about what you were going to tell Santa when you sat on his lap next month? Remember when the only fork in the road was the one that went to your friend Susie's house or your friend Gina's house to play Barbies?

Sometimes I just totally hate being an adult. I hate that I have to always make these giant choices that mean giant things either way. I want to throw myself on the ground and throw a fit and say..."I don't want mac and cheese OR pb&j....I only want a cooooookieeee!!!! WAAAHHHHHH!!!" Of course, my mac and cheese and pb&j just happen to represent large decisions that could potentially make way bigger messes than even grape jelly on champaign colored carpet.

You know what I always tell my kids when they throw those kinds of fits? "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!" Is that how life works sometimes? I am not sure yet........I guess I have to think about what I had to do before I said that to my kids...I had to give them what I thought was best for them, when they really believed that a diet of cookies was the best thing for them....I had to hand over the carrots and some diced up little pieces of chicken, pull the cookie away and say "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit...." So, I guess in the end, it really was what was best....

......and maybe that's just how life works? Always? Even when you are the adult.....sometimes God has to give you what HE knows is best.....and even with all of our kicking and screaming and silent treatments and starvation tactics....sometimes He just has to say...."you get what you get and you don't throw a fit...."

right?

......maybe I'm still in spiritual babyfood mode and I have to grow my teeth before I can start eating the solid food? I don't know.........maybe I would choke if I got what I really wanted.....maybe I just have to eat my vegetables and I'll finally get surprised with a cookie if I'm really good.

Who knows...........
I'll be a good kid and eat my vegetables......
and......don't you wish someone would wrap you up in a blanket every day at 2pm and MAKE you take a nap????

Oh...the things we took for granted!
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.........."

I'm going to go give myself a bath and think about all of the creative ways that I can to cope with being the adult around here.....

Thanks for EVERY SINGLE WORD that you have written to me over the last few days.....the best cookies, ever. I love you guys so much and you are a HUUUUUGE blessing to me every single day.

Lots of Love
Melody

The Light Will Always Outshine It....

What Are You Afraid Of?
July 26, 2006

The Light Will Always Outshine It.....

I remember so clearly, a Sunday School lesson when I was just a little girl…about the nature of darkness/light….and, the words that were written on the chalkboard still resonate in my soul to this day…

“No amount of darkness can put out even the tiniest light.”

I had a huge imagination when I was a kid and I really remember thinking through that…visualizing it…thinking about being in an enormous warehouse with no lights on…in the thick, black darkness….then lighting a tiny little candle…and even how all of that black darkness surrounding the candle could NEVER, EVER put that light out….and I thought about being in the middle of a dark forest, with no signs of civilization for hundreds of miles…in the darkest of dark….and again…lighting a tiny little candle, and seeing the warm yellow glow permeate through that thick darkness, even though there was what seemed like a million times the amount of darkness than that tiny little light could illuminate.

But, no matter what….no matter HOW BIG THE DARKNESS….the tiniest light can overcome it….THE TINIEST…and sometimes, all we have is a tiny little light.

But, the darkness sometimes makes us feel like it’s too big and powerful for our tiny little light to ever make a difference. DON’T EVER LET the darkness fool you….because, what I know for sure is that WE ALL have a light…sometimes it’s bright and sometimes it’s dim…and brightening it is only a prayer away, always…but, no matter what, we’ve always got some, and it’s always more powerful than the darkness.
One more quote about all of that…and I won’t go in to any more details, because I know that this analogy will help a million different people in all different ways….and I know your darkness now is different than mine…and your friend’s is different than yours….but, what we all have in common is that we can all overcome it with our light.

“To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest”

Lots of Love to ALL of You,
Melody

Is the Road REALLY Closed?

What Are You Afraid Of?
July 18, 2006

Is the Road REALLY Closed?

So...you are running or dancing or rollerblading through life at a pretty good pace...on a road that you can handle, heading towards things that you've been working towards for a very long time. The map says you're getting really close, and just after a bend in the road...you'll be there. So you speed up just a bit out of sheer excitement...and you come around the bend.....and there it is....

....and maybe you've asked for signs from God...but, you certainly did not want a ROAD CLOSED sign!

There are some pretty critical points in life, like the ones where we come to a place in our life that tries to forbid us from going any further on our path. Some people take those signs and turn the other way...some people are in cars and can't get their cars by the ROAD CLOSED gate anyway...and some people just hop out of the car, over the fence and on their way.

Because, the road really isn't closed...it might just be closed to cars...so if you are in a car....get out. What kinds of things are you going to miss-out on if you don't take that trail that you've been working so hard to get to?

I've taken the trail anyway.....and, I found the most beautiful flowers....one of a kind. I found things that could only be found by people who are willing to take the trail anyway....I found plants I'd never seen before, scenes that had never been touched by human hands....I saw the way that the sunlight paints messages through the leaves....the kinds of messages that you only get to see on those kinds of 'closed' trails.

When life comes to roadblocks, ask yourself if they REALLY are roadblocks, or if they are just opportunities to take the trail on foot, where you'll come closer to the things you are seeking...where you'll smell flowers and hear the wind blow through enormouos trees and feel the pinecones beneath your feet....that ROAD CLOSED sign will become a gift in no time.

I hope you're having a great day.....
Lots of Love,
Melody

Sorry I'm Behind!!!

I just got back into town and I have a day of meetings before leaving for CHA!!!! I am going to post later today...but, I want to get you thinking about this incredible bit of treasure from C.S. Lewis......I hope it puts your life into perspective right this second....it did for me...

A living House
God is building you!
by C.S. Lewis

C. S. Lewis quote. God's work in our lives can be painful, but His ultimate goal is to transform us into something better.

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.

But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.

You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself.

C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity

It Usually Comes Just in Time....

What Are You Afraid Of?
July 11, 2006

It Usually Comes Just In Time....

And...we don't get to decide what 'just in time' means. We tread water and think we are saying hello to our death in any second....and we say so "I AM DROWNING OVER HERE!!! HELP ME!!!" but, somehow we keep treading water...and sometimes when we want to be saved, we get thrown a life preserver, but we are still in the middle of the sea, in a horrific storm. We won't drown, but man can life get scary and exhausting and nauseous.

A friend of mine who is going through inconcievable trials right now gave me that analogy...and, she called the other day and told me that she is pretty sure that she is going to be out to sea for most of her life....and I cried....but then she said....'it's ok, I always get a life preserver thrown out to me when it gets to be more than I can handle."

And, I can completely and totally and with every wrinkle around my eyes relate.....I have been at that moment in my life so many times....when I was sure it was the very end of all of my happiness, or my choices, or my prime....and the hugest waves were coming, and I was just too weak to keep going, so I pulled out my white surrender flag and started to sink....and suddenly, from out of nowhere, a life preserver appeared....but, let me tell you....it was JUST IN TIME!!! ANd, I thought that yesterday and the day before would have been just in time...but God knows us better....he knows how long we can tread water...

And...God knows that our legs and lungs and arms and HEART get strong when we are treading water.

I know there's a whole bunch of you right now who feel like the sea of life is going to consume you any second. ANY SECOND....like you can't keep going through whatever thing you are going through right now....and you are pulling out your surrender flag.......well, keep going, girls...YOU CAN DO IT!!! Please know that it's that very moment that you feel like you can't keep going that the world opens up to you...that big door is there....and if you just keep going, the very thing you need in your life is right behind that door.......just keep going. God has plans for you.

I know that.

Remember that COURAGE is not the lack of fear......it is doing what you need to do and what you are called to do IN SPITE of fear.....so, don't let fears stop you...let them energize you.

Thanks for letting me spill the words that I need to hear today.

Lots of Love,
Melody

Afraid That We'll Forget...

What Are You Afraid Of?
July 4th, 2006
I hope that I will always remember my roots, in everything I do. I hope that WE ALL will never forget our roots…I hope that we will never forget that just about everything we enjoy today is because of the sacrifices of others who have gone before us…I hope that we will never forget what has been done to preserve the American Dream…and how important it is that we continue to appreciate, preserve and fight for our freedom if we need to fight for it.

I hope we'll continue to pray for whatever needs to happen to keep our freedom and to help others in the world to have theirs.

I hope we'll thank all of the hundreds of years of lives and tears and blood and sweat that have been given on our behalf....

I have been diligently working on my family history this year. I have learned so much about HOW it came to be that I can wake up on any morning of the week and make the choice of whether I want to have a career, or go to the church of my choice, or vote, or live just about any dream I could ever dream up.

The fight for freedom is born into us. You can see it evident in the fits of a 2 year old…kicking and screaming because he wants to CHOOSE what he wants, he wants his freedom…it’s in the teenager who wants to wear her hair the way she wants it…she wants her freedom…it’s in all of us…once our choices, our freedoms are threatened, the fight comes out in all of us.

My great-grandparents boarded a ship from Germany to have religious freedom, to have all of the freedoms that America believes every human being has a right to. This is what has always made America great. Because my ancestors made that difficult journey across the ocean and then across the plains, and ended up here in Idaho, then fought for the rest of their lives to make the most of their new life in America…my grandmother met my grandfather and they started a life, with the help of my great grandparents…then my mother met my father…and my strong German-American great-grandmother saw great promise in my father and gave him all of the money she’d be saving up in a jar in a secret place…from selling her chicken’s eggs, and put my father through school…then my father started a business and raised 9 children, teaching them all about living the American dream….and I was one of them…and that is why Chatterbox exists…because of two young & brave kids who hopped a ship from Germany with their 2 babies, leaving everything behind to live the American dream…..

I love America. I love America. I love America.

Happy Independence Day!

Just ONE of my big fears....

Today's subject is, of course, 'what are you afraid of?'

Oh my, how I could write a very long book listing and explaining all of the things that I am afraid of....If you look to the left, in the green column, and scroll all the way down...you'll see my all time favorite quote, because it really defines me.

"I have been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, but I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I've wanted to do." -Georgia O'Keefe.

Last night, my very wonderful friend called...who I also work with, and she told me that I looked extra tired today, and she's sorry for all of the disasters that I had to clean up...and she knew what kind of gosh-awful day I had yesterday, and let me tell you...it was a doooooozy. She told me that she thinks I am invincible. I am the invincible woman........

HA!

I am just terribly, terribly tired. I am exhausted. I am worn to a thread.......and sometimes, I fear that I am a doormat.

So, that is my big fear today...........and, I know when you saw this image, you did not even have a question in your mind of...."hmmmmmm, I wonder what she means by that?" Because, we women lay down and take feet of all sizes, treads of shoes..........

And, I am so much better than I used to be....SO MUCH. I used to be the ultimate pleaser, at the sacrifice of every single thing that my heart desired or needed.....and, really, I'm not like that any more.....but, when I get this tired....my FEARS come back up.

We need sleep and care to be able to battle our fears.

Who else on the sofa today has fears of being the ultimate 'lay-down-and-take-it' doormat? Well, I went to bed last night before 8pm, even swallowed 1/2 of a Tylenol PM......and really, I didn't want to wake up until Thursday.....

But, I am well rested today and ready to take it on.....and I am up, instead of down......but, still I fear...........

TOday is the big interview I promised you...coming soon....so, off I go to get dressed and ready!!

Today will be a better day.....
And, I will Make it Meaningful.
Hope you will too,
Mel