Melody's Sofa

NEVER LOOK BACK....EXCEPT TO BE THANKFUL.....

Thursday, September 29, 200
Taking Care of Ourselves

NEVER LOOK BACK...FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS.....

I seriously CAN NOT WAIT for a few years to go by, when the dust settles, and I can give you a detailed account of everything that has happened in my life in the last few years......it's just too soon to give details....but, I sure plan on telling a lot of stories someday...because there's lots of miracles that have taken place that blow my mind.....but usually for a miracle to be performed...there has to be something really difficult to work through....that's why it's a miracle when it 'happens'....I sincerely feel like it's a miracle that I am still standing! :) When I talk to my therapist, and my mentors...it makes them tired just to think about the 'pickles' that I get myself into....yeh, try living it for a while!!! ha ha ha.....well, I took all of these big goals on and I am going to make them happen, no matter what.....but let me tell you....it has not been easy for one second. I don't understand from day to day how so many things can fall apart and then get put back together.....bigger and better....but the time when things are falling apart is the most important time of your life....because YOU have to decide if you have the fortitude to put it all back together....remember that quote by C.S. Lewis...here, I'll put it in again....

God the Builder
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
-C.S. Lewis

Yesterday on my way to work I was thinking about it all......I was really meditating and thinking deeply and the words came into my head and my heart...."FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS...FORGET THE PROBLEMS" ....and, I started really thinking about that....about what that really means and about what it COULD mean in terms of what a different kind of life we could have if we just looked our 'problems' in the face, examined them and saw what they really were....then moved on and focused on the solutions...never looking back (except to be thankful for the lessons....and the opportunity we've had to grow....)

I tried that out yesterday....and it was a huge blessing for me to start the day out with that perspective...because it was a horrible day...at first.....it was like I was being tested.....the morning started out with something HORRIBLE happening, .....and, I just thought....ok, I am going to focus on solutions for this....so, I got my little advisor team together and said....from now on...we don't talk about the problems after we know exactly what they are....we only talk about solutions.............and they said...ok!!

So....the day was highly stressful, and scary and overwhelming...and I had to pull myself back into the space of solutions at least 4396 times.....but, I did it.....

....and, I was driving home from work the same way I was driving TO work.....with tears in my eyes from exhaustion and fear and 'how in the heck am I EVER going to be able to pull this off?".....

....and then I got a phonecall and to tell me that 'we got it all figured out......it's going to be ok....in fact, it's going to be incredible" ....and I came home to an email that contained THE BIGGEST THING that has ever happened in the history of my business.....oh, I wish I could tell you!!! ....and I will! It's going to be a ton of work, and really scary....and all of that....but THAT'S OK!!!!!! If we focus on the solutions, it's going to be amazing and wonderful........

And, the only reason that I am telling you this is because this is a NOT a unique situation...this is the way life works....and it works this way for everyone....and there is SO much power in it.......and I want everyone to experience living this way......the way that you live when you know that you are being "renovated", not destroyed....you are being refined, not weakened.....you are being sanctified, not evaporated......when you FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS and put your problems behind you.....

It doesn't matter what the problem is....it really doesn't.....problems are problems and pain is pain....no pain is bigger or smaller than anyone else's......BUT, one thing remains.......if you focus on the solutions, the problems lose all of their power over you......look UP, not down....the answers are UP. Look into the light and not the darkness........learn the details of the problem and then forget them....focus on the solutions.

I really believe that this is one of THE BEST WAYS I can think of to take good care of ourselves....because life can get so overwhelming and really take everything good out of us...life is meant to be enjoyed...that's what was always intended for us....focus on solutions.

Have a great day......gotta go work on my marriage book! :)
p.s. Marq is still making improvements every day....thanks for all of the concerned emails......and prayers.

Lots of Love,
melody

Oh What a Week.....

It's been quite a week.....in so many ways and with so many emotions and so many experiences and just so much................

And it's good to be home.....and have my husband back, and to be part of my kid's school routine, and to create and build and strategize with my employees.....and catch up with friends....

But...I wasn't very good at blogging. I am tired from the trip to Africa (which the photos will be up for SOON, I promise) and.....a wonderful surprise flew in from Arkansas.....my angel friend Rhonda...and we had a wonderful time, but she sadly flew home today with her superhero dad....and man we had so much fun...or at least I did....she scrapbooked while I had meetings at my office....and we talked each other's ears off.....and we laughed so much, too....and she reminded me of so many things that I needed to be reminded of....and she really just seems so fresh from Heaven but with thousands of years of wisdom. I do love her....and so needed her wonderful self here.......

So.....here's a few updates.....

1. Instant Interviews books will be going out very soon...I'm trying to write a little note in each one, you know.....and, well....it's a lot of books! There's a little challenge that I'm including in there......I really want you to take part it in.......

2. Africa photos will be up soon....I did not get mine to our photo coordinator....need to and will....and I so want to relive that whole trip and tell you about it. A big life-changer for me.

3. THANK YOU to everyone who sent me such sweet notes about Marq doing better.....seriously....I can not believe the kindness that is out there in the world...well, actually I can.......people can really be such a wonderful blessing...and have been to our family....I just want you to know that I FEEL all of the prayers that have been spoken on our behalf and I am eternally grateful. Heaven was listening.

4. I am going to do better at writing...I miss it when I don't do it...it is so therapeutic.........things are just in a bit of a transition right now.......new office 1/2 hour away....son in driver's ed.....3 different schools to drop kids off at.....and pick them up.....lots and lots of other transitions and changes that I'll tell you more about later............

5. You all make a really huge difference in my life. I love reading your comments......please keep sharing!!!

6. I think I found THE PERFECT PERSON to lead us through "The Artist's Way" every week on the blog....I want to be a participant and I want you all to meet this person and get to know her generous and inspiring spirit.....so, we'll be starting soon....go get the book "The Artists's Way" by Julia Cameron if you want to participate!!!

Chapter 3 of Marriage Book tomorrow....then, I"LL BE MORE CONSISTENT!!!!!!!!!!!
lots and lots of love,
Melody

This is Good Stuff Right Here......

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Taking Care of Ourselves

The Artist's Way.......you can't go wrong!While I'm waiting to compile all of the breathtaking photos from Africa, I want to share this book with you....I went through this book and program 10 or so years ago, when I was in a completely different part of my life....I grabbed this book before I left for Africa and devoured it again while I was there. It is a 9 week program for enhancing creativity....but, the program actually changes your life.....there were so many things that I found in this book that helped me get over the enormous hump that was in my road (that really seemed like Mt. Everest).....and, I invited all of my travel mates in Africa to do this program along with me......so, if you want to join us....please go out and get this book, or order it from bn.com.....and, we'll be starting it in a few weeks............you seriously CAN NOT go wrong....it helps you to become who you really are....to live your potential...to dream again.....to embrace all of the ideas and thoughts that come to you, and enhance the ability to have dreams and ideas and everything good......I am so thankful that I just 'happened' to grab it off of my bookshelf before I left......you just never know where or how God's messages will be sent.......

I hope you are taking care of yourself....it is so important.

Being in Africa and getting sleep and forgetting the complexities of my everyday life and hanging out with a bunch of glowing big-hearted artists made me remember who I am.....made me remember that I really need to nurture myself and my creativity........made me remember the capacity of each of our souls.......I feel great and I am so thankful for the time that I had to reflect and remember and regroup and revive........

Take care of yourself, Ok? Nobody else is going to do it.......get some exercise and drink lots of water and try to avoid sugar.......and get your sleep......and dream big dreams and remember who you are....and take care of her.

I love you guys......
Mel

A Quick Way To Stop a Meltdown!!!.....

August 17, 2006
Taking Care of Ourselves

Ever feel like you're about to have a meltdown and really misbehave? I saw this headline today.....and thought...Oh, I need that! I am all-too-often on the verge of melting down and misbehaving!

"Hug Your Child - Quick Way to Stop Meltdowns and Misbehavior"

Oh! Oh? You mean my CHILD'S meltdown and misbehavior???....oh well, it worked for me....I hugged my kids and I was much more controllable...for sure.

More from this article....

Hugs Are a Parent's Secret Weapon

They stop misbehavior, moodiness, meltdowns
Hugs are a great way to show love and affection for your child. But when your little one is acting jumpy, emotional, or out of control, they can do much more than that. A good hard hug, with lots of squeezing to the trunk and shoulders, can provide some powerful sensory input to a disorganized child and help restore feelings of calm and control.

So, yesterday I got to spend the day with my newly 6 year old son...it's what he wanted for his birthday....to hang out with his mom all day......I could hardly believe that 6 years ago I was in the hospital...after two weeks of drinking castor oil, jumping on the trampoline, going for walks with one foot on the curb and one on the street (a mother of 10 gave me that advice to start labor...didn't work) and wild 4-wheeling rides in the foothills.....none of it worked....although, every single night I would call my nieces and tell them that they needed to spend the night because I was FOR SURE going to have this baby tonight...and, they would go upstairs and I would stay on the couch and in the morning...they'd tiptoe down to see if I"d gone to the hospital the night before...and no....I hadn't....and finally, I got induced on August 16th in the sweltering heat....and Max was born....

...and this kid LOVES to hug...and he loves me......so much. Today marks the one year anniversary of a lifechange that I made on the day after his birthday last year......He told me a few days before his birthday that all he wanted for his birthday was for me to be there when he wakes up...to be waiting for him to wake up and to say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!" as soon as I saw him that morning.

......I'd been working a lot and that's really really really all that he wanted....so, I did that, and he could NOT STOP SMILING that I was there waiting for him to wake up.....and then, I decided that I was going to start coming home from the office earlier.....so....for about a year now, I do everything that I can to get home by 3pm and I've been doing a pretty darned good job all year.

.....my two little boys hug me constantly...constantly. I think it must keep me sane and keep me from misbehaving and having a meltdown......I know it sure feels good...it sure helps a lot....

So...in the spirit of TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES, I hope you'll grab a child, preferably yours, and definitely one that you love and who loves you....and give 'em a nice tight squeeze, and don't let go until you feel your stress melting away..........what a great remedy! Both the hugger and the huggee get to experience something that will change the course of their day.

WIsh I could give you a hug right now! I gotta go track down 5 kids of varying willingness to recieve hugs!

Have a great day! Hope you're remembering to TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!
Lots of Love,
Melody

The FUN Challenge.....

August 10, 2006
Taking Care of Ourselves....

I am going to go do something FUN today...I don't know what yet....but I'm going to find something fun and enjoyable and I'm going to go and do it....that's my challenge for today...I'll report back tonight.....

JOIN ME!! Go do something fun, then tell us all what you did.....

Here's to a brand new day,
Melody

If Only....

Taking Care of Ourselves....
August 3, 2006

How's it going with the fitness challenge, everyone?
Don't you wish it was THIS easy?

Well, let me tell you....for the last 2 years, I have hardly missed a workout...then, as soon as I start this challenge, it has become a challenge for me. I have only been to the gym once this week....choosing sleep instead. I know for sure that I will feel so much better when I get back on track with my exercising, eating regularly and consistent sleep. I am doing all that I can to make the changes I need to make in my life to be able to take better care of myself....because, no one else is going to do it, right?

I hope you guys did better than I did this week....I do feel like I needed to take a bit of a break, I am physically in burn-out mode, and I am trying to be gentle this week....today I'll go for a long walk, then tomorrow morning I'll hit the gym again.

This week's challenge for you is to check your nutrition....vitamins really are important if you are cutting your calories and exercising...I've been slacking off on that, too.....and, I'm going to get back into that today....and recommit to drinking lots of water.

And.....that's what this is all about....recommitting every single day.....everything good and worthwhile requires a brand new commitment every time you wake up in the morning......

Let me know how it's going! I have lost weight but I have also lost muscle......haven't been eating enough or exercising enough...I'll get back on track, though!

Lots of Love to all of you!
melody

FITNESS CHALLENGE...how are you doing??????

Taking Care of Ourselves
July 20, 2006

FITNESS CHALLENGE

Did you stop eating at 6pm today? How is that going?

Did you park a little further away and take the stairs?

Did you drink plenty of water?

I have been doing really well, actually...I don't own a scale so I'm not sure how much I've lost, but my clothes are definitely fitting a lot looser. I have been being really careful about what goes in my mouth...trying to get my exercise in, even though I've been traveling so much....

And...let's talk about that for a minute....what if you can't get to the gym because you don't have one, or because you are traveling...well, what do you do then????

The very best thing for your body is a brisk walk....start with 20 minutes and then build it up a few minutes each day....when you feel pretty strong, start doing a slow jog for half a minute at a time...then a minute....then, make the minutes longer....until you are jogging the whole time.....THAT is how you build up to being in great condition.

The very best weight bearing exercise, even better than weights, is push ups......and lunges. These are part of my routine EvERY day and you can do them anywhere, with only your body.....then, sit-ups. Seriously....Shane has me doing all of those things in my daily routine.....

When I travel, I do lunges ouside my hotel, and I go jogging...when I'm being really good, I'll do pushups and situps in my room.....

So, guess what? There's no excuses!!! And, that's a very good thing.

So...let's do our Thursday reporting.....how are you doing?

Why Should I Exercise?? Why Should YOU Exercise?

Taking Care of Ourselves
July 13, 2006

This beautiful poster of Marilyn Monroe hangs at the entry of my gym. I love this photo because Marilyn always was a curvy gal, and so am I. I love that she's not super-skinny and that she looks feminine, even when she's lifting barbells.

So...before I can do any kind of 'talking you into' working out....you all have to find your 'WHY'...I've said it before...whenever there's a big task to be done, or a big change to be made, the only way you'll stick to it is if you have a really compelling 'WHY' that is yours and yours alone. I'll tell you about mine...and, it's funny because the reason I first stepped into the gym is an entirely different reason than what has kept me going daily for the last few years.....it is about how I FEEL.....not about how I LOOK....

There is a moral to this story, but it is pretty long, so I hope you can bear with me. I remember last year when poor Shane stood and looked at me, dumbfounded, when I yelled at him and had tears in my eyes...I'd never cried before, or yelled....I am totally NOT a yeller....and not much of a crier either. But, I did...I remember totally losing it on him when I was doing his #*&@*@ boot camp workout that we call "the dungeon" he was making me do these deep squatting frog jumps all the way across the room and back...and another set and another set...and then he handed me 15 lb dumbbells and told me to start doing lunges....I had just gotten comfortable the last week doing 10lb dumbbells. He said, "here, it's time for you to do heavier weight..." I was exhausted, every single cell in my legs was throbbing......I could not even fathom lifting 5 lb. weights, let alone doing LUNGES with 15lb weights....I gave him a dirty look...he handed me the weights, "come on, you can do it, the 10lbs are too easy for you now"

So, I yelled, and I started crying...."NO I CAN'T DO IT!!! I CAN'T LIFT ONE MORE THING!!!!"

Now, you have to understand that this was all happening at the height of the rest of the yucky crap that was happening in my life. I was barely dragging my way through the day, and working out was my only solace. That's when I realized that working to build your muscles is the very same thing as working to build your soul. And, God is your personal trainer. When I was yelling at Shane, I was REALLY yelling at God....it all just felt too familiar....so, I turned it into a good thing...and, sticking-with-it while working out spread into all of the other parts of my life. When I was tough at the gym, I was tough through life...when I got up at 4:30am even though I wanted to stay in bed, it helped me to have the strength to keep it together with my kids, my employees, and of course my husband, even though I wanted to run away from home a lot of the time. Working out changed my life because it corresponded with the building of my soul muscles.

Do you ever feel like you finally get to a place where you are comfortable with something that's been tough, and then, from out of nowhere, God handed you and even heavier weight? What's up with that? Well, as my buddy Shane says...you can't keep building the muscle unless you are constantly tearing it down so that it can grow and build back up stronger and bigger......and, when it's easy to lift the 5 pounders, it's time to move on to the 10 pounders.....if you want to make progress, it's going to hurt a little.

So....there you have it...that's my WHY for exercising. Every day it gives me a victory, first thing...I start my day off with a victory....I get stronger....it makes me stronger everywhere.

And, I love that I wear a size 6, but that is total gravy.....I love that I have endurance and physical strength and all of that, but exercising has truly changed my entire outlook on life. And, that's something that I know will keep me going forever....something that's not 'outward appearance' but 'inward reflection'.......

I hope you'll really explore all of the reasons that you want to get into shape, or lose weight, or get healthier, or whatever it is....I hope you find a deep reason that is yours and yours alone, because when you do...you'll figure out the HOW and the WHEN and the WHERE......just so you can satisfy the WHY.

Lots of Love and Lots of Luck...
I believe in you 100%...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Melody

What I’ve Learned In The Gym

Taking Care of Ourselves
July 6, 2006

What I’ve Learned In The Gym

NO, STAY!!!! Don’t let the title scare you…or the photo of dumbbells….just hear me out! I used to be afraid of the gym, too….

In a minute, I’m going to show you a photo of me…after I’d just spent 4 years losing 40 pounds. This is a huge step for me, to show this photo…so, please be kind and understand my intentions. First, I want to tell you about my unfortunate genetics….because, just this last year…I have had people say things to me like “Well, naturally thin people like you can…” or “Well, after you have kids, you’ll find out that it’s not so easy….” These are things that I used to say to other people, too…because, from the time I was about 11, I had a weight problem…in varying degrees, and definitely, always a body image problem.

I wish I could find a ‘before’ photo…sometime I will…I know one exists. I decided after I had my 5th child to do “Body for Life” and, I went at it full steam ahead…at that time, I wore a size 14. I took a photo, in my basement, from front and back…of me in a bathing suit…when it came back from the photo developers, I WAS SHOCKED…. I was just mortified, I had no idea. That’s when I really discovered the power of weight lifting.

I come from a long line of sluggish metabolisms. My sisters have to work very hard to keep weight off, so do my aunts and my grandma and my mom…it’s a daily battle. My mom had gastric bypass surgery a few years ago because her weight had gotten so far out of hand and was affecting her health…I watched her my whole life as she struggled with her weight. My belief was always that we just did not have the genes to be lean and fit…plus, I totally love Oreos, Dr.Pepper and Cheetos…things I have completely sworn out of my diet for years now.

I did “Body for Life” for about 3 months, and it completely sold me on the idea of daily exercise…but, it didn’t transform my body as much as I thought it would…over the next 2 or 3 years, I kept exercising, but I hit several lengthy and frustrating plateaus. I sold my 4-wheeler so I could buy a year of personal training…and, my trainer, who you will soon be meeting…he kept saying “consistency is the key!” HA! I was so consistent for so long…and just didn’t see those super-fast results.

When I gave up sugar completely, I really started seeing things happen, then I found out that I had a bad thyroid, and getting that cleared up made a huge difference….but, what really did make the biggest difference of all was the consistency…making it a real habit, every single day.,,,like so many things in life…slow and steady wins the race. I go to the gym first thing, every morning….I get up at 4:30am so I can be there at 5am, so I can be home before my kids get up. I NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS thought I could do this…but I did….and I do.

Exercise has changed my life SO MUCH that I’d like to start some kind of a challenge here on the blog for Thursdays. My friend, Shane, who has helped me for the last 4 years, said he’d give us some tips every Thursday.

This photo was last October, just after my 34th birthday. (I apologize if this photo offends you…I am not one to expose myself like this…I just want you to see what is possible, even with unfortunate genetics) So, in this photo I had been working my butt off, literally, and I had not taken any photos…so, in my hotel room one morning, I took a photo of myself in the mirror…I didn’t want anyone to see. I WAS AS SHOCKED AS THE PHOTO I’D TAKEN OF MYSELF 40 POUNDS AGO!!!!!!

But, I’ve gained 8 or 10 pounds since this photo was taken and I’m ready to hit it hard again…does anyone want to join me? BELIEVE ME, IF I CAN DO IT…SO CAN YOU!!!!

I’ll tell you all about how I did it, how I continue to try to maintain it…and I hope you’ll share your best tips too…..we’ll start now and work on it every Thursday.

I believe in you….now is the time…..let’s do this!

Lots of love,
Melody

RX - Diet Cherry Limeade from Sonic

Today I'm going to drive all the way to Sonic for no other reason than to get myself my favorite drink, Diet Cherry Limeade...with fresh limes and cherries tucked inside.....and, I'm going to sit in my car, in the shade....and enjoy it.....while I listen to my favorite CD by Nickel Creek that everyone in my house is sick of.....then, I'm going to look around at the blue sky, the fluffy clouds and the mommies sitting on the metal chairs and tables wiping ice cream off of their baby's faces.....and I'm going to thank God that I am alive and have so many incredible things to be thankful for and to be happy about......and I'm going to choose to think only of those things for most of the day......

Because, I really believe that is the best way to take care of ourselves.....to find small things to love, appreciate and delight us...and to focus on all that is good and wonderful.

Just found this quote....I hope you all enjoy it!

"For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you're not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness."
~Andy Rooney

Make it a Happy, Meaningful Day....and do something special to take care of yourself today.
Lots of Love from Idaho!
Melody