Melody Ross Creative Life

Confessions of a Facebook Addict...Post 90 DAY Detox...PART 1 "THE COOL WHIP DIET"

So...it's over. I went 90 whole days.

I am addicted to Facebook....I am owning it.

I owned it and I faced it and I decided to do something REALLY HARD...and quit cold turkey for 90 days...and I did it. I did not slip even once. I made it to the finish line and TODAY IS DAY 1.

I know this might seem silly to some people, but it was a big huge giant deal for me.....it was scary and awful at first, and I was brave and kept going. I had a million fears about doing it but the biggest one was that if you are not on Facebook you do not exist...and that somehow, I would be left behind, forgotten and invisible. Isn't that silly? Well, it was a very real fear to me........

I learned SO MUCH and SO MUCH happened over the last 90 days that I am gonna have to break this whole thing up into several parts. This summer turned out to be a defining time in my life....like, my entire life.  It's probably gonna take me the whole next week, and you are absolutely invited to read it all...but I will also understand if you think this is lame and boring. (there's a fun little movie at the end if you make it though this post!) I gotta write this all out, though.....too much happened to not share....and I got too many letters from people who asked how I did it....and from so many people who want desperately to step away for a bit, but are too afraid. WHAT ARE WE AFRAID OF?

SOOOO.....

Last night I got my facebook password back from it's keeper after staying completely off for 90 whole days, and I logged on. My hands were shaking with a combination of excitement and nervous dread. THere are so many people I have missed and I seriously couldn't wait to catch up....but I also terrified that I am going to slip back into my old patterns. Today I thought a lot about how much my days have changed. How much how I feel every day has changed...how much my priorities have changed...how great I feel...how relaxed and happy I feel.......how different things are since I took a little break. After spending a bit of time on Facebook this morning, I drove to my studio and painted.....and I thought a lot about what i want to tell you about all of this first....the first thing is that I am really really really happy that I did this....

I am really really really happy for lots of reasons....because I got to make a TON of art all summer, because I fell in love with my family all over again, because I was alone with my thoughts for so many months, because I was so enveloped in friendship from the most incredibly supportive, kind and loving friends who were on my right side and on my left......because I learned to make rules....and....did I tell you I painted and painted and painted ALL SUMMER?

I GUESS THE THING I WANT YOU TO KNOW most about FACEBOOK iin part 1 of my recap is that I do not hate Facebook, I am not anti-Facebook and I do not even think Facebook is a bad thing.....Facebook has been a wonderful tool for keeping in contact with so many people I love....I was the biggest recruiter for Facebook that you could imagine in the beginning....begging all of my family and friends to join in......

BUT THEN....

....little by little.................it seriously started to control me...my life...my moods....my day. I have an incredibly addictive personality....I'm a "just one more minute...." "just one more time..." kinda person......I obsess about things...I have a hard time stopping things once I start......just one of my trillions of weaknesses. I was spending an alarming and embarassing and disturbing amount of time on Facebook. This sounds so funny and dramatic and mostly humiliating now that I am on the other side of it.....but it is the absolute truth and I'm just coming clean here, folks. I was letting Facebook completely mess with my soul....and again, this all sounds dramatic and stuff.....but for reals, I was letting a virtual world keep score of my real world in so many ways. I know that not everyone does this....but that is what I was doing. Quitting was honestly one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I did it...and I learned a whole lot.

I mostly learned how to really really really love my life. I remembered who I am and what I want out of life. I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been in all of my life, but it was a lot of work getting here...lots of honesty with myself. Lots of hard days and doing hard things and making hard decisions. All because I quit Facebook? YEH...but it could have been ANYTHING that was completely distracting me from doing hard things, being honest with myself and really really really listening to my own breath and my own gut.........for me it was Facebook....

Yep...I took some pictures today because I wanted to remember this day. I was all alone in my studio...and I love how happy I look...see that? I LOVE THAT. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT REAL SMILE AND THE SPARKLE in those 40 year old eyes.

So am I going to go back to Facebook???....yes, I am. WIth VERY STRICT RULES and guidelines for myself. I will talk more about that later....but what I have decided is that after this week is over... I am going to have Facebook Friday....once a week.....for an hour. Like I said, that will be in another post....and if you are interested...I'm gonna share my whole plan with you...the why's the how's and everything....

As I started to write out what I wanted to say.........I realized that this is going to have to be in parts. I learned SO MUCH over the last 3 months....so much that has to do with all of this, and then so much that just has to do with life......that there's no way I could write it in just one post.

AND....the reason I am even writing all of this out is because of the hundreds of emails I have gotten from people who are having struggles with living in a virtual world more than living in the real world...and people who want to take a break for a while, but are too scared to......I'm writing this for YOU.....and I'm writing this stuff out so I don't forget it.....cuz I am forgetter too. And seriously, I can already tell that it is going to be hard to keep the new rules I have set for myself. But one of the GREATEST THINGS I learned this summer is how valuable personal rules and boundaries are and that we MUST keep them.

So....I'm starting this little "FACEBOOK ADDICTION" series with a movie I made in the middle of it all for Soul Restoration 2.......it describes exactly what it was that prompted me to quit......how I felt at that time, and the analogy that I used all along the way to measure how I wanted to spend my time to live the life I really want to live.

SO MUCH MORE TO COME.

FOR NOW...I will tell you how I got a little bit skinny on the NO MORE COOL WHIP DIET.....

I LOVE YOU ALL DEARLY!!!

 

dear extraordinary girl...a little bird told me...

It's ok to want things that don't make sense to others, dear friend. It's ok to be content with a simple life, to pass up on things that others find tempting, to walk a path that is not often traveled...maybe even a path that has never been traveled before....(more)

xoxo

{This is an excerpt from The Brave Girls Club “a little birdie told me – daily truth”.  Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive Daily Truths in your email inbox.}

One more day til my '90 Day Facebook Fast' is over.....but first you gotta meet my friend Shamanie!

It is absolutely amazing to me all of the beautiful little suprises that have come along with working so hard to build the dream of Brave Girls Club. One thing I never expected was to end up making so many soul friends.....the kinds of friends that you end of loving like family......people who you wonder how you ever lived without. When women come to camp with us...that is what happens...and so very very often, they end up coming back, or meeting up somewhere else for a little reunion.....Dr. Shamanie Haneca was at one of our first camps ever...and she has pretty much become part of the family. She came to camp at the recommendation of our dear friend, Jeanne Oliver.....someone else we don't know how we ever lived without!

Anyway...about Shamanie......she is a healer...the kind of doctor that everyone deserves and the kind of doctor I wish everyone had. She has been kind of a miracle in our family and helped us out with lots of ailments.....but she especially changed my daughter's life...and brought her back to full vitality and health...

and for close to 2 years now...they have been wonderful friends because of that.....another incredible wonderful amazing thing that I was not expecting is that my children would make such lifelong beautiful relationships with amazing women from all over the world....women who have tremendous influence on them and who care about them....what a miracle. Shamanie helped my daughter in tremendous ways that I will thank her for forever...

I love that Shamanie also came this summer to our first ever Mother/Daughter camp with HER beautiful daughter. Magic was made there......memories that we will never forget. INcreidble things happened between the mothers and daughters that will never be forgotten.......

She was an awesome addition to camp as a staffer, too....she has a beautiful heart she loved taking care of the women and girls who spent a summer week with us. She is a keeper, that Shamanie! Soon you will hear from Shamanie and her daughter about their experience at Mother/Daughter camp in a sweet video we are working on...but for now.......I want to tell you....

that we are sooooo lucky, all of us...that Shamanie has partnered with the fabulous Crescendoh.com  to create an incredible online class where she walks all of us creative types through the process of taking the best care of our bodies, in creative beautiful ways that will make sense to us. I am telling you about this because her work has been such a blessing in our family. Just this summer, I have trimmed down a WHOLE LOT and I am fitting into my skinny jeans..........but even better, I am feeling so fabulous. She taught us what to eat and how to eat. When we follow these guidelines...we feel so great. I am taking her online course and I wanted to tell you about it too. I just really think that this is stuff that we all should know.........she is a fabulous teacher and she has created an incredible class!!! Check out all of the details below...

click HERE to learn more...

I promise it will change your life!!! I have seen it work for so many people!

xoxo

melody

p.s. tomorrow is all about what I learned during 90 days off of facebook!

dear understanding girl...a little bird told me...

There are many things that spread and spread and spread...far and wide and deep. There are good things, and there are not so good things. You could be THE ONE who makes a huge difference in not just spreading wonderful things, but in making sure that not so good things don’t spread so much.

One of the best ways you can do this, beautiful soul, is to stop the gossip when it gets to you. One of the fastest moving and most destructive forces around is gossip...and it not only hurts the person(s) who is the subject of the conversation, but it hurts the souls of anyone hearing it or spreading it...(more)

xoxo

{This is an excerpt from The Brave Girls Club “a little birdie told me – daily truth”.  Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive Daily Truths in your email inbox.}

dear nurturing girl...a little bird told me...

Try to live this day as though it is the first time you have ever seen your child, or the love of your life, or your parents...or your beautiful friends. Look at them from head to toe...see them for what they are and who they are...look around at all that they are doing, and who they have become......work hard to make sure they know exactly how you feel about them. Work hard to be someone that they might want to have in their life....(more)

xoxo

{This is an excerpt from The Brave Girls Club “a little birdie told me – daily truth”.  Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive Daily Truths in your email inbox.}

dear valuable girl...a little bird told me...

You have the right to choose the kind of friends who get to be close in your life. It is an honor to be in your inner circle. You have the right to be treated with kindness, respect, love and support. You have the right to feel safe in your relationships, free from harsh judgment and free from manipulative communication....(more)

xoxo

{This is an excerpt from The Brave Girls Club “a little birdie told me – daily truth”.  Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive Daily Truths in your email inbox.}

dear capable girl...a little bird told me...

Happiness is a gift that we give to ourselves...but it has such far reaching blessings to those around us. Everyone who loves us wants us to be happy...but we must choose happiness and work towards it. One of the best ways to be happy is to forget ourselves and go out and serve in the world.....spreading happiness is an almost fail-proof way to live the happiest life we could ever imagine...(more)

xoxo

{This is an excerpt from The Brave Girls Club “a little birdie told me – daily truth”.  Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive Daily Truths in your email inbox.}

dear invaluable girl...

Please remember, incredible girl, that there are thousands of species of flowers,

there are tens of thousands of species of butterflies and birds....

there are countless species of trees.

Each creation is designed to grow and become and change until its purpose has been fulfilled. Every living thing is this way. And...if plants and insects and birds are created with such care and purpose....how could it ever be that we are not created with the same care and purpose? (more)

{This is an excerpt from The Brave Girls Club “a little birdie told me – daily truth”.  Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive Daily Truths in your email inbox.}

dear peaceful girl...

...do it, friend....anywhere, anytime...you can be the person you have been waiting to meet...(more)

You are amazing.

xoxo

{This is an excerpt from The Brave Girls Club “a little birdie told me – daily truth”.  Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive Daily Truths in your email inbox.}

dear sparkly-eyed girl...

All around us is proof that the world is kind and good, that life supports us and that there is light to be found in the darkness. Often we are left alone by people or things that were once companions to us, but we are never left entirely alone....(more)

xoxo

{This is an excerpt from The Brave Girls Club “a little birdie told me – daily truth”.  Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive Daily Truths in your email inbox.}