This little guy is the reason I knew for sure I needed to write about all of the incredible little and big miracles that got us so joyfully through what could have been a pretty miserable year.....so before I move on to the other things that happened....I want to tell you about an exchange that happened a few days ago that left me feeling so profoundly loved, heard and understood by our Father in Heaven.
My 4th little man is the most thoughtful, soulful, old soul. He has been since he was born....he used to just look at things for the longest longest time...even as a baby...as soon as he could talk...he would ask the deepest questions after he investigated something for way longer than a small child should have the attention span for.
He takes things incredibly seriously....promises, relationships, friendships...homework, animals....he has the best laugh ever, and he laughs because things really do touch him down to the core. He is kind and smart and sweet and a very important part of our family. He is the VERY BEST FRIEND to little man #5.....who is really equally special.........I will never understand what I did to deserve the 5 children I have been blessed with....you would just have to spend a day with them to understand.
And....I honestly don't know what I would do each day without these little boys.....the boys that almost didn't make it into our family because I was sure I only wanted to have 3 children.....and Marq and I had 3 incredibly wonderful children and then #4 came as a big surprise when #3 was 5 years old.........#5 was an even bigger surprise....when #4 was just a baby.
Our last regular paycheck was in April of this year. Through so many incredible acts of kindness, acts of nature....acts of God.....and lots of hard work in every form....we have made it month to month and day to day and week to week......and had absolutely EVERYTHING we have needed...but not much more.
It's hard as a mother to know that Christmas is coming and you don't have much extra to "fill the stockings".....my other three kiddos are teenagers...and really good, responsible, mature-ish ones at that....so the talk to them about things being sparse this year in the way of wrapped gifts was an easy one....they get it. They don't feel slighted or forgotten or sad.....in fact, they have been working their booties off babysitting and doing whatever other work they can get so that they can buy gifts for each other.
But I have been oh-so-worried about the Santa lists that my two little men would write out. I WANT them to have a very special Christmas...I WANT to give them what their hearts desire, I am their mommy and they are my babies and this time is so short with them........I KNOW that especially my soulful little man #4 would really think HARD about what he wanted to ask Santa for......what he wanted very most for Christmas......and there would be a big reason behind what he was asking for....and he would trust for sure that Santa would keep his promises......and I KNEW this might be a bit of a heartbreaking year for him.
And..........I'm sure you can understand.......it was breaking my heart just thinking about it.
I know it seems kind of dumb.........I know that material things are of little real value.....I know the meaning of Christmas....but I also know that God knows what is weighing on our hearts too.....and little dumb things are taken care of just like big & important things are...I know this for sure.
I talked to Marq when I got home from my trip this week. We had saved up a little bit of money, and then we had one of those little vehicle emergencies that have a way of soaking up every extra penny..........so, there was not too much more left after that. Marq and I were in our bedroom and I told him that the other kids would be ok....but I really wanted to make sure that the little men had at least one really special present......they had not really told us anything that they wanted for Christmas...I guess this was just mostly weighing on my heart.....somewhere I was thinking that they were not telling us because they didn't think they would get anything this year......
Marq and I talked about things that we could sell......and we just decided that we would make it work...we would figure out SOMETHING to make sure that they didn't feel like Santa forgot about them.....
Well............something happened that I will never, ever forget.
We went out into the living room where the little boys were hanging out and playing by the Christmas tree.......Marq and I sat down on the couch next to them....and I asked #4....
"If you could have ANYTHING that you want for Christmas, ANYTHING at all....what would it be?"
It was pretty clear that he hadn't really thought much about it.....and that surprised me.
Then...he tipped his head sideways.....looked up at the ceiling for a while...and then said.....
"My friend at school has THE COOLEST socks, he said they keep your feet warmer than ANY socks that are made. I think they are called WOOLEN SOCKS.......that's what I want....I want some woolen socks.....do you think Santa would bring some woolen socks?"
I was stunned.
I actually started laughing.
I looked over at Marq......and we both started laughing in amazement.
I said "Buddy....I am SURE than Santa will make you some really perfect wool socks."
then we looked over at little man #5....the first one was miraculously easy, doable...we'll see how this one goes...
"What about you, pal.......what would YOU want if you could have anything?"
He looked at Max and said....
"I want some woolen socks too."
....and they got up and ran off to play.
AND THAT WAS THAT.
Marq and I just sat there stunned for a while....I said...."can we buy some woolen socks today?"
and he said "yep, we sure can..."
NOW....you can not tell me......EVER...no one could EVER EVER EVER tell me that angels from Heaven....SOMEONE from Heaven put those desires and thoughts into the heads of two little boys at Christmas......
to bless a mom and a dad who just wanted to give their kids what they really wanted....
and two little boys are gonna be OVER THE MOON excited on Christmas morning by this:
Still makes me cry just to think about it. About the tender little mercies and tireless thought that God puts into solving our problems, big and small when we go to Him with them.
He really came through.....this whole month has been this way.
Can't wait to tell you more.
Keep looking for ways that Christmas miracles are showing up all around you....it will fill your heart with so much love and joy that you won't even know what to do with yourself........this has been the best Christmas season I can ever remember....
BEST LITTLE MEN, EVER.
.....soon with the warmest toes, ever.