Where were you?
What were you doing?
How has life changed?
How have YOU changed?
Sometimes I forget, well, I forget a lot....all of the things that life drags or floats or rides you through.....I was reading this morning from my journal, things from a year ago, and can not believe how interesting and crazy and unexpected and BEAUTIFUL life is....even when it's a beautiful disaster....true stuff!
First, I am going to show you THIS picture from a recent family reunion....THIS is my husband....this is how he is NOW. I don't want to put a photo up of him from last year because I still can hardly look at photos from that time....so, I don't even want to go look for one.
I had a big massive shift in perception this morning. After reading from my journal, then looking through recent photos for a project I am doing for work, I saw this photo and loaded it on my computer.
I can hardly believe how far we have come in 1 year.
One year ago we were making arrangements to have Marq put into a hospital in California because he was doing so badly that no one here could help. It was horrible. He was supposed to stay for a minimum of 60 days, and to go as soon as I got back from my business trip to Africa. I was reading through those journal entries and I just wanted to jump into those pages and grab that scared and sad and confused girl that was writing that stuff and swaddle her in a blanket and hold her by the fire.
and I read in my prayer journal....the prayers.
...and how they just weren't being answered.
....and how I just couldn't understand how God could forsake our family like that.
...but that I was just going to keep on praying.
It has been almost exactly 3 years since our life got turned upside down with my husband's brain injury.....and then it got put into a blender and then thrown out of an airplane with no parachute....
.....but, sheesh...the things I was praying for, and how little by little, every single prayer has been answered in strange and big and peculiar ways that still blow my mind.
..............and we are still a family. We are more a family than EVER.
...it's cool. So cool.
and I am madly in love with my husband and nobody can ever take away the fact that we have been to hell and back together.
Things always turn around. It might take WAAAAY longer than you ever thought it could, but I wish you knew how bad things were, and what the doctors were saying and the fear I was giving-in to.
So few things in life really matter....and the ones that do are SO important.
Please look back at things and see what you've been brought through, delivered from.....and keep asking....it will happen.
Gratitude can change your life.
God is so so so good.
Hope you are having an awesome day.