July 31, 2006
Success & Goals That Matter
Last October, I started going to a therapist because I thought I was losing my mind....(you know what, I have already started the process of bearing my whole entire soul to the whole world on this blog...might as well not stop now!) Anyway...about that therapist (which, by the way, I am now convinced that EVERYONE needs a therapist) Well, I just about stormed out of her office the first day because she told me that I needed to start shooting for average....that that was the key to a happy life.....I was absolutely FURIOUS! SHOOT FOR AVERAGE???!?!??? WHO DOES THAT??!!!??!
Why shoot for anything if you are just going to shoot for average?
Well, because that is what was making me lose my mind....this belief that Wonderwoman exists....and that we are all expected to be her....and I fall so ridiculously short of that.....and maybe that average just means REALISTIC and everything that I believed was absolutely, in all of the world, thoroughly and without question IMPOSSIBLE to achieve.....and then she told me that I was a perfectionist, and that it was going to kill me.
Me? A perfectionist? No. No no no no no no. I am the most easy-going person alive...seriously. I do not expect anything or anyone to be perfect....I accept things as they are...I love people exactly as they are....I do not expect things to go perfectly......"yes, you are right...." she said, "you are very accepting of others and of life...you just can't accept yourself unless you are doing everything perfectly...."
What? NO. no no no no no......
Ok, yeh, maybe.
Well, ok, yeh.
Oh my gosh...I am a perfectionist.
I am very very very hard on myself. I go on and off......I have 3 WonderWoman t-shirts that are gifts from others who mock me......I am NOT Wonderwoman...I am so far from it....so far. And, even though I can tell you with a 100% guarantee that it is not possible for anyone to be Wonderwoman...there's still this mean voice inside of my head who says....."you are not right unless you are Wonderwoman...."
I KNOW you know what I mean, don't you? Are you trying to be a superhero, too?
Maybe, if things never went wrong....I could have 1/2 of a day once in a while that felt like I was her...but kids get sick and deals fall through, and husbands have accidents and boobs sag and cellulite sticks and stock prices crash and gas prices soar and LIFE HAPPENS to everyone.....
......and it is still so good....SO good...so much to be thankful for. SO MUCH.
And, what's so bad about average? Can we live with it? Of course we can!!! You win some, you lose some, and it all washes out in the end....and, really...I can always, always ALWAYS be #1 at being me...especially if I stop competing with myself and start cheering myself on.
Wonderwoman?????? Yeh Right....
That's what I have to say....Yeh, Right!!!!
I love you guys. I love you all SO MUCH. You can not believe the emails and messages and flowers on my desk and cards in the mail and words of kindness and mercy and comfort that you all give to me. I don't get out much...I don't have time, fighting crime and all.....and you all have been the greatest blessing to me....just look, this morning i asked for ideas for comfort....and it flooded in from all over the world......this beautiful army of your average super-hero women from all over the world....sending recipes so I can slash my grocery bill and sending prayers so I can stay sane......I had no idea that this would all be such a huge blessing in my life....you just never know where the answers to your prayers are going to come from....but, I want you all to know that you are enriching my life more than you will ever be able to understand.
New goal for today.....redefine Wonderwoman......into #1 WonderfulWoman.......and, you get to decide what that means....it just means that you are #1 at being you.
Thanks for all of your love and support and for hanging out here with me and trying to figure all of this out......we'll crack the code someday, ladies.....
Lots of Love,